And so it begins...

Last time I posted was at the end of summer camp and I was just heading home after a hectic summer. I was looking forward to everything but nervous for the future. In reality, my goal was to find an apartment, have birdie be back in San Diego and ready for school/work by September 8th. That was three weeks and guess what...I did it. I kind of can't believe it myself. 

I was lucky enough to find the cutest old fashion cottage for me and birdie in the exact location I wanted. I will probably spend the next month decorating, getting rid of things and making it perfect but for the most part, everything to ready for us two ladies to begin the year and its looking very promising so far. 

While the day is hectic, I kind finally starting looking/proposing to new photography clients and start posting more regularly on the blog! 

Camp

It has been nearly a month since I have posted on this blog and here is why: in the last month I have graduated, moved out of my LA room, started two new jobs as well as getting other things set up. One of the jobs I have gotten is as a photographer for a summer camp. I don't know if it was because I was completely exhausted after graduation but I basically didn't touch my camera for the whole month and now I get to do just about nothing except take pictures all summer. 

While life has been exhausting, I'm so thankful for the opportunities that have been given to me and I am so completely excited for what is in store for me, not only this summer but for the entire year. I can't wait to get back and start my other job for the school year, I can't wait to find an apartment for me and birdie and begin decorating. I can't wait to have regular weekly practices with my band and start performing around SoCal. I can't wait to get more clients for BFAB photography. I even can't wait to sign up for health insurance and government aid because well, I am in control of everything now!!!! 

The summer camp I got hired at is one of the most wonderful places I have ever been too. I know it is going to be a great summer here. Even though I am independent and an introvert (as I write this, I am sitting in my cabin alone while everyone else is walking around camp and meetings), I feel so welcomed and comfortable here. Everyone has been so friendly and I truly feel respected and appreciated, just like I do at my other job in San Diego. The camp is amazing and I can't wait to capture everything from the horse back riding to the yoga classes. You know those summer camps you see in the movies? Thats this camp basically. 

So throughout the summer, I hope to post more pictures since I'm finally getting into a normal routine but here are just a few (out of the hundreds) that I took yesterday. I hope everyone has a great summer! 

Reading To Keep You Occupied

 A Day In The Life Of A Ballerina

Life lately as usual has been a little stressful. Its pass the stress of the beginning school but now it moves into the stress of the daily routine and the ever appearing midterms. In the last month, I have also been dealing with constant neck pain which only recently I started seeing a chiropractor for and has been improving. Before it made literally everything from sleeping to driving to just watching a movie with my daughter or boyfriend one hell of a task. Along with that, it is almost the end of the month, which means as the new month arrives, so do the due dates to pay bills, times to set my calendar for parent teacher conferences, setting up my tutoring schedule to start working, along with a million other personal plans to put into motion. 

I don't know about you but the end of the month is alway stressful for me just because of the load of things I need to wrap up. But I look forward to the next month. I look forward to feeling better physically, enough to start running again and even have time to work on my music which is a big stress reliever for me personally. 

Have you ever been one of those people who on the bus or walking down the street, looks at someone else and wonder what life looks like through their eyes? Well recently, I was reading one of the blogs I follow A Cup of Jo, and she found an article on the life of a ballerina. I have always been fascinated with dance since I was a little girl and has always tried to incorporate it into my life. I found the article to be very glamourous. Here is something for you to read to keep you occupied while I work elsewhere for this blog and such...

Happy Blogging!

Grilled Cheese

I don't eat/like milk or cheese so these pictures might be a little confusing but I do like watching people cook, especially people that seem so into what they are cooking, even if its something simple like a grilled cheese. 

The last few days, weeks in fact, have been a bit lazy. The occasional yoga class happens, I play my guitar, I read my book, I hang out with friends. But really my mind is avoiding all the upcoming plans I need to make. Such as finding a place before school starts, getting all my books, sorting out all my stuff and helping my daughter's father prepare for her arrival before school starts. You think you're life is busy enough and then you add on the role as a parent and busy doesn't even seems to cover the half of it. 

I've been lazy lately not because I'm dreading the upcoming hectic and chaotic year ahead of me but because I'm holding on to each and every last summer moment I can. I know I should be looking for an apartment and preparing for school but I'm also enjoying staying in bed late, having late night hangouts at diners or deciding to have spontaneous road trips because while my daughter is away at her grandparents, why not take the opportunity? 

Its also meant not constantly having my camera by my side. There came a time when my daughter was born that I did want to take photos constantly but then suddenly, I would want to stop and just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment everyone. Possibly turn your phone off for an hour or so. 

Happy Blogging!

End of the Year

I find myself saying this a lot as I am finishing up my schoolwork. I have done better than I expected in some of my classes but that does not mean that my work is done yet (it never is). I am looking forward to the weekend. Everything will be done! I can spend time with my daughter and friends, work on my photography projects and visit the beach! I knew there was a reason I was still in Southern California. I am also getting ready to travel to Europe next month! 

How are your finals going? What plans do you have this summer? 

Happy Blogging!

Spring Freakin Break

Are you? 

I don't know what kind of readers I attract at BFAB so I have no idea what kind of lives all of you may have. But being a full time student, full time mom, full time chinchilla owner, part time intern and part time blogger, my plate is full. 

But I am extremely happy about the upcoming Spring Break this week.

My plans have been chaotic and few. "Let's go on a road trip." "Let's go camping." "Maybe I'll go off by myself for a bit." "Maybe I'll just turn my phone off and sleep a week straight." 

But the plan ended up being having Birdie stay with me for a whole week and I have a big mess of plans for us which I plan on sharing with all of you. Hopefully you will be interested enough to check it out. 

Happy Spring Break 

and 

Happy Blogging!

Happy New Year

Was it the greatest year? Not so much. But were there plenty of changes and challenges? Most definitely and it is my belief that one should have many challenges within their life to become a stronger person. This year I played shows with my band, transferred to university to work on my BA degree, traveled to throughout California, Nevada, Oregon and Washington DC, and made the move to LA.

 It has been quite a year but that is to say, I am relieved that the year has ended and a new year has begun. The last few months, I have tried my best to give myself some time to adjust to my surroundings and give myself a little peace. But now I believe I am ready to conquer some of the challenges the year has in store for me. Such as finding where I belong in my school, how I plan to work on my music and finding a balance between my life in LA and San Diego.  

So I wish everyone a Happy New Year (though I hardly like to wish people this at all) and that hopefully everyone had a safe night. I was lucky enough not to be one of many who had a hangover from the night before. 

Happy Blogging.

What Is Inside my Head Right Now

I'm going to "lay it out there" and be somewhat personal which I'm not very fond of doing on my PUBLIC blog. Last year was probably one of the greatest years of my life. I joined a band which I've wanted to do my entire life, my threw myself into school, joined two clubs and met a ton of interesting people. My skin was clearing up, I was losing weight with running, I felt great and confident. Then the summer started to end and so did my confidence. I was having qualms about my personal relationships, I was having a stressful time with my family, applying to college and contemplating the future was (cliche but...) freaking me out! It ended with me dealing with the fact that I was rejected by my first choice school and even though still in the same state, I was moving away from my daughter (NOT AN EASY THING TO DO). I moved into a new town that kind of sucks into a way to expensive studio apartment and started school. 

Even though my school has a good program for what I'm studying, it also has a 75% acceptance rate and being rejected by the school I wanted to get into that was more distinguished, I felt like I had accomplished nothing. I was having a hard time trying to find people to have an educated intelligent discussion with. I wasn't meeting anyone I found interesting and the more my confidence started to fall, the harder it was to put myself out there. Little by little, blows that wouldn't be that important to me a year ago, really started taking a hit in me now. 

I knew my depression was always there but I had done SO WELL the year before, I kind of thought I could do anything. It took a visit to San Diego to see my daughter and the day before I had to leave, I couldn't stop crying cause I wanted nothing more than to quit school and stay with Lillee cause I didn't want to go back to what I saw as a shitty college experience. 

But here I am saying...

I AM NOT GIVING UP. 

Yeah life isn't great right now but I've always believed deeply in the phrase "life is what you make of it." Because of the slow decline of what I see as my mood, I've lost sight of who I am. This doesn't mean I'm going to jump right out there and walk up to every person I see but I'm going to do my best to get back on track to what I feel I need to be happy. And Its going to start with little changes. 

1. My diet - I've been eating alot of crap lately and I'm sorry for those who think this is a load of shit but shitty food can put you in a shitty mood. I have no energy, I'm breaking out more and I'm losing confidence in my physique. So I'm starting a raw food cleanse for 10 days to get back into flow. Hopefully this detox will be the first step to adjusting my overall mood. 
2. My Body - Does this mean I plan to become skeleton skinny? NO. It means that I'm going to take steps to treating my body the way it deserves. The first step was the cleanse and what I put into my body. The next step is to begin exercising in ways that make me happy (running, yoga) and also to start treating my body but engaging in certain activities (don't get dirty thoughts) like massage or acupuncture. Even though I don't think these things are the kind of treatments that can cure cancer, they are extremely beneficial to the mind and body overall. 
3. My Mind - One of the biggest changes that happened last year was that I admitted I was depressed and I needed help. This meant asking my parents to help me with school, taking to somebody about what I was feeling on a daily basis and accepting the fact that asking for help didn't make me weak but helped make me stronger. I've stopped asking for help and I know its what I need again. 

I'm not expecting my life to be sunshine and rainbows instantly but how things have been going was kind of a slap in the face with my inner spirit saying "Hey Aleisha, you use to be so much cooler than this! What happened?" 

I'm writing this post to tell those that the struggle with depression is not easy and it will never go away but its okay to be honest with yourself and with others. Just because I'm struggling now does not make me a weak person. I haven't quit school and I will not quit school and I will make friends and be in a band again (as I haven't had time for my previous one) and I will do it all not just to show my daughter how strong I am but to prove to myself that I am a beautiful human being who is worth every amount of effort for happiness. 

Absent - Present

I know, I haven't blogged. 

I have an excuse, I swear. 

Not really. 

With moving all throughout the summer, starting school and constantly still traveling to see my daughter and trying to find a job, its been pretty exhausting. And sometimes, a person just doesn't know what to blog. But that was me saying I was absent. 

And this is me saying that I'm present.